"when women wear makeup they’re lying to men"
okay so imagine an au where the potters live. harry dates oliver wood briefly. james hears of this and pulls harry aside. stares him in the eye with a deadly serious face
“he’s a Keeper”
You made an entire AU that would alter almost every facet of that series
For a pun
You’re a beautiful person.
"Are you serious right now, Dad?"
"No, I’m not serious. I’m Dad. He’s Sirius."
so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”
the dad joke to end all dad jokes
when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
Everyone has that one class where they walk in and immediately want to commit mass homicide
homework to do: hella
homework i’ve done: negative hella